Excuses, Excuses...
Some of you (at least I’d like to think so) might have been wondering lately about the fact that I haven’t actually been writing anything of note and have simply been posting fluff and frippery in a not very unobvious attempt to keep at least a few of you interested in popping over from time to time.
I’ve certainly been wondering about it myself and have decided that it’s about time that I came up with an excuse, lest you think that code and wotsits are all you’re ever going to get from me now...
Actually, although my gender may cruelly prevent me from multiple orgasms, when it comes to excuses, I can have one after the other quite happily, (sometimes even at the same time) and so this is an attempt to entice you all to believe at least ONE of the reasons I am about to give you for what some people are calling The Long Period When BLN Did Nothing But Play With Code And Wotsits And Never Wrote Anything Longer Than A Few Lines And I Was Thinking Ha Ha He Got Put In The Premium Spotlight And Then Ran Out Of Things To Say Not That What He Was Saying Before Was Anything To Write Home About LOL But You Know What I Mean. Well, apparently some people call it that.
The first thing that you have to understand is that my real passion for xanga is in the commenting, not the blogging itself. I spend far more time reading you guys than thinking about writing and certainly more than actually writing. I delight in finding words for a comment that will cause subsequent readers to think, Huh? Is that guy on drugs or something? Those comments might appear to be the work of a throwaway moment but actually they’re the sweated and agonised over results of me plumbing the depths of my creativity. Add to that the fact that recently I’ve even been trying out some new blogs, breaking my golden rule of not trying out any new blogs because then I’ll get interested in someone and I’ll add ‘em to my SIR and then I’ll have even less time for writing and then people will definitely be saying stuff like that Long Sentence upstairs....
All of the above is true, of course, but not really the reason for what’s going on. What it is, is that my world outside xanga is currently a source of much stress and my energies and attention must be directed somewhere other than here. I have been unable to find a replacement for the part time teacher who leaves at the end of this month and have been busy trying to reschedule classes into gaps in my own timetable. Some classes, however, I simply can’t do myself and I am faced with the horrifying prospect of having students who have paid for classes but no one to teach them. Obviously, this is Not a Good Thing and of course the result of my mind being elsewhere is that I haven’t had the inclination to write anything...
Or how about this? I told you about mrs bln’s crunching a while back, didn’t I? Well, it’s now reached the point where she is constantly crunching ice cubes and I’m having to look after her pretty much full time just in case she does anything dangerous to herself. She has also started another, equally worrying habit. Now I don’t know about you, but when I watch TV, I usually sit somewhere more or less in front of the TV, so as to give myself a natural view of the on screen proceedings. Not her though. No, she likes to sit somewhere about 6 feet to the left of the TV and almost on a perpendicular line with it, as shown in fig.1 below:
Fig.1
Now you try moving away from your monitor in a similar fashion and see how well you can read this blog. Then you’ll have an idea of what I’m trying to get at here. Now, try imagining the addition of non stop crunching noises and you’ll be getting an even clearer picture of the source of my worries. Now factor the following into the equation: When I ask her if she’s OK watching the tv from over there and that I’m concerned that not only is she possibly doing her eyes some lasting damage but that also she might not be getting the full value that the screen has to offer and also slip in something about how I’m a little put off by all the crunching, she looks at me for a moment and then says, “Did you know that your nostrils go all wide when you talk to me and you’re trying not to laugh?” Only, she doesn’t call them nostrils because she can never remember the English for them, so she calls them ‘nostronauts’. So what she actually says to me is “Did you know that your nostronauts go all wide when you talk to me and you’re trying not to laugh?” This is what I have to contend with nightly and it’s taking its toll on me I tell you....
Comments (47)
I had to vote for "mind on other matters" because let's face it.. deflowering my blogs? Really, how long did you need to come up with that?
Eh, I enjoy reading all your stuff anyways
(The vote appears to be broken, though..)
Whatever the reason, it's a good story just the same!
Ooooh can I use your excuse when I've forgotten my homework too?
Great blog BLN, as usual
the vote thingy doesn't work...fyi.
blog what and when you want, comment where and when you can, and beware the ice crunching wife learning to read screens from an angle.
Well this is weird; it works ok for me...I'll investigate...
YEAH BOB, fix your darn thingie!
and ask Mrs. BLN if she'd prefer your nostronauts to go all pinched (ala Jennifer Anniston and a bunch of other nose-conscious people who want their noses to appear smaller than it is so they pinch them thinking no one will notice, but I, I always notice and would prefer the occasional nose flare to the pinching because nose flaring and eyebrow arching are hallmarks of all the true unemployable thespians out there amongst us and could even constitute a dying breed, the nose-flaring, eyebrow arching actors I mean, who went "out" about the same time as handlebar mustaches which they also had a penchant for twirling the ends of as they spoke).
and you, you Bob, at least on my site, are the comment master!!! Maybe you should go into your My Comments box and just copy/paste all the assorted comments you leave around xanga and make that your next post-- guaranteed to make us all appreciate what you're saying here is the excuse you cannot always post something that looks like it took much.
now my comment is almost as long as your entire entry!!!
sorry. I get worked up commenting sometimes... just like you except I also POST STUFF!!!
Hey: dang. And I wanted to be the only one who choose "post what you want." Perhaps I'll come back to vote later.
Anyway, extracting what I assume to be the unvarnished truth from your remarks:
1. Commenting on others' stuff is addictive and fun. Except sometimes they take umbrage, I've noted when I've commented-and-run on occasion. However, you may take it as carte blanche from me that I will never take umbrage at you. Although I might indeed wonder what you're on.........
2. That sucks about the school. In fact, it sounds like the Big, Major, Insurmountable Rock and the Tempered Steel Hard Place. Hire Sisyphus for the rock? Or just keep on keeping on. I hope it gets better for you!
3. Personally, I prefer to keep the tv that my husband is watching as much in my peripheral vision as possible. In a small house, it's tough. But I never sit on the sofa either (unless both kids want to hear the same book........a rarity). However, I do not crunch ice. Brrrrrr!
suck my dick?
Good God its just not going to work on this post and it has worked so well on all the others.....shit.
Well the vote doesn't work but personally...wait sit down at my chair, let me get my notebook.
Misternutboy I think you are facing challenges at work that have left you sleep deprived and you are also running out of steam. After an exhaustive day of coming up with excuses to your students you are then faced by a glowing screen asking you to post something...........anything. You freeze up and realize. My God when it comes down to it I just DONT CARE. Life gets in the way and yet the guilt....oh the guilt of NOT posting.
Heres the answer, take a few months off and call me in the morning.........Wait that doesn't make sense eh. Ok just take a couple months off, it does the body good!
Take it from me, I left and came back not better than ever but I think I'm only dragging one body part behind me and NO its not my dick. Whew feel better I knew I would get a plausible dick reference in there somewhere.
umm. still broken. but yeah, still enjoyable blog
The vote seemed to work fine for DiDi, (of course, she may have skewed the results a bit clicking it all those extra times...) but it didn't have the option avaiable that she wanted:
"bln needs to have more hedonistic fun; that will get his creative juices flowing."
Or something.
Man, that ZooZoo sure talks about dick alot....
"Avaiable"- what DiDi becomes when she has had one too many vodka cranberry cocktails at Emeralda.
nostronauts ??? is that what happened to michael Jackson?? What you need to do is move the TV about 6 feet to the left so she will be forced to sit on the sofa, then move the TV back where it belongs ...
"7" is my lucky number.
So that's how many votes I get.
Hey, I don't care what you blog, as long as you blog something! I just like knowing that I am speaking to not only a nut, not only Bob's nut, but Bob's LEFT nut
lol You do make me laugh, Bob. I believe 'em all, especially the nostronaught part. Having lived with a man whose english is at times reminiscent of a episode of Chico and the Man, I feel ya. A few weeks ago we were in the kitchen and he was mixing sport drinks to pour into his water bottles, when suddenly he asked me to pass him the foonk out of the cabinet. With nary a blink, I reached up and grabbed the funnel--it's an understanding in our house, see. You say it the best you can, repeat it at least three times to the giggles of the other, and nobody plays dumb as to what you're trying to say. Works pretty good. Good luck trying to find teachers--they're scarce around here, too.
I tried to vote but it appears to be wonky
and I think your wife joined some sort of drive-your-partner-crazy cult. Its all part of their evil plan.
in the 10th grade, I was told that those who chew on ice have repressed sexual enegry. the solution of mrs. bln's crunching problems is in the palm of your hands! har har har....
I am not even going to guess about nostronauts.
And your voter box didn't work
I think the Mrs. is playing mind games with you! It's all a conspiracy.
About having your wife's sexual tension "in the palm of your hands"... I got a perfect picture posted for ya in my latest blog.
I always thought "bln" was "blynn" instead of "B.L.N." for the longest time. As I quote the chanting of Homer Simpson: "I am so smart. I am so smart. S-M-RT"
He heehehe. Sealkitty said "Wonky."
Whoa, how did you find out I was calling it "The Long Period When BLN Did Nothing But Play With Code And Wotsits And Never Wrote Anything Longer Than A Few Lines And I Was Thinking Ha Ha He Got Put In The Premium Spotlight And Then Ran Out Of Things To Say Not That What He Was Saying Before Was Anything To Write Home About LOL But You Know What I Mean"? I only told a few of my closest confidants...
I hope and pray the "nostronauts" one is true. That's too much of a classic for it to not be!
Whatever the reason, I still love whatever you post because it's all amusing.
ooopsssss forgot my props
When I go to class every other day to teach the little darlings about health, I picture the eProp picture you have. It makes me laugh because that is what they would look like if life immitated what we really "were".
Since I have only subbed you for as long as a month or so, I haven't read many of your posts with substantial information, just really enlightening. I still get a little flash of excitement when there is something new, be-it a wotsit or time wasters, whatever.
Just don't take a sabbatical. please?
I know it's not option number one because you rarely comment over at my place!
Yes, that's a frowny face! But like with other things, I'm sure you're busy tending to your crunching, squinting wife. 
I prefer reading your writings rather than whotsits, but whatever you post is bound to gather loads of readers - no worries!
Post whatever you want. Heck I was disppointed to NOT see the wotzits thingamabobs. One of these days I'll try and guess them.
mummble mummble mummble blah blah blah.*nodding like she understands*
Hmm... maybe I should have quit my job and run off to work for you. Oh well, you'll find someone.
As for the wife - mind games. She's just screwing with you, waiting for a chance to strike.
Your wife is making a large margarita, very slowly, and she chews the ice because she eschews bladed machinery.
She won't sit on the sofa to watch tv because, clearly, she lacks hands, feet, and any semblance of a neck. (She's extremely pink as well, which doesn't factor into this at all, but monochromatic women tend to stand out, so I had to say something.) She'd teeter backward trying to sit (no feet), slam her spine into the sofa without anything to break her fall (no hands), and her head would fall off, Weeble-Wobble it's way into the kitchen (no neck), and come to rest near the refrigerator, tongue lolling about like a shaggy dog on a hot summer's day. Then you'd have something to blog about.
*hugs*
Don't worry so much about what other people feels...
You look like the alien from KAPAX. =D
And yes, I believe you.
All hail BLN, I salute you.
as long as you don't stop commenting on my site, you can print all the nonsense hoo-ha you want. i'm interested to know what mrs. bln calls the other body cavities...
pushing my glasses down my nose, writing quickly in a notebook...
"Interesting. Very, very interesting..."
i like to think, considering a rather glowing comment ive seen floating around my ankle deep blog, bln does indeed love the art of commentversation. why else would i encounter "pithy?"
beautiful bob, just beautiful. wish i were so inclined.
dickcarter, missing nut
Perhaps mrs bln just prefers a different point of view.
D-, the grass is always greener
AHH!! Know what i've just done!? I was on the Xanga start page yesterday afternoon.. about to sign in, when I some interesting stuff on it. Your site was.. in the spotlight I suppose, I forgot the words for it. I checked it out, and when I read about your wife and her "crunching", I'm sorry to say it was really funny to me.. and the nostranauts.. had me cracking up. I dont usually actually Laugh Out Loud.. but I did. I was intrigued, so I went back to your first blog (which I wasn't able to find, and was only able to start from last june) and began reading.
I've now come to know you and love you.. lol.. not like that, but you should know what I mean. You are hilarious, entertaining, and by far.. the best blog I've ever come across. I'm a lot like you in the sense that I far more enjoy reading other people's blogs rather than write my own, and for that reason, not many people come to my blog site. Its ok though, I still write as often as I can, though not many are particularly interested in the trouble of a High School senior and her boyfriend... lol. I'm not as funny as you, and I envy your ability to write something and have the masses driven to read it (like myself). I adore writing, and other forms of artistic expression as I am an artist, and I have much appreciation for your little signs here and there; haha.. and have had fun trying to decifer just how I could achieve the same product.
Anyway, I was tempted to write a comment on all of your other blogs, though I doubt you will read them again. So, I've decided to put all of my thoughts into one, probably too long, comment just for you, (ya little nut!)
I know its a crazy obsession, but when I find a Xangan of interest, I love to go back and get to know them as well as I can, but have rarely made it through all of them (plus every comment, mind you) as I have with yours. And thinking back I find myself feeling very funny. I just spent 8 hours last night, and 4 tonight reading over everything. What a person you are!!
I have to say, I regret not finding you sooner!! And how I wish I was able to participate in your "Panty Proposal" and your Wotsits.. and by George (III - lol) I will be a part of the next one will full severity!
Of all the blogs you've written, my favorite one was the blog where you wrote about your walk, under the train rails, and your rock. Being in Manhattan, in New York City, I cant really do that here, and it was something I used to do when I was living back in Pennsylvania. I cracked up about the way you stand there screaming as a train passes, one - because of the mental picture of a man screaming out all his frustrations, standing under train tracks, and two - because I have always dreamed of a huge field, somewhere maybe in Switzerland where I can just scream everything out. haha...
Well, that's about it I suppose for this one, seems more like a letter to me.. but I promise the next ones wont be so bad..
Take care of yourself and Mrs. BLN, and perhaps... get rid of the ice in the house? Oh! and whatever happened to neko-chan??? I hope your daughters are doing alright.
Thats it for me.. I'm really going this time.
~Love and Craziness Always~
Reeni
PS- bobsleftnut + tearstaindeyez = 77.5% not too bad.
love the accent!
FORGOT YOUR EPROPS!!
Us women have strange ways of telling you that you're losing it. Maybe that should be added on to your list of excuses
kidding! really!
Maybe she's just trying to tell you that you aren't paying attention to other things. There's a large possibility that you haven't noticed something that she's been wanting you to notice, so she is doing things that you will probably notice, then read incorrectly. ::cue Twilight Zone music::
I like commentating. I like reading other peeps comments too.
i think the crowd loves it when you talk about your probably very normal yet eccentric wife...well, at least i do....that's because your description of her reminds me much of my mom, normal in the quirkiest sense of the word. i think i have to take up for mrs bln, though, because women are born to raise question marks....it's just normal.
BLN, I think you've got one of the most strangely-funny existences I've ever had the pleasure of knowing...
Hi, I enjoy reading your blogs very much.(As for Wotsits, I just had to be a lurker as it's a bit too difficult for me to answer, still always got wondered how you could find those queer things!) Also, I thank you for kind comments on my site.
As for mrs.bln, she probably wants you to pay much more attention to her than you think? A twisted way of a mind expression... My cat keeps meowing and following me when she wants me. It's so direct!
By the way, one month has passed since I adopted Snatch/Natsu. She is just fine! And I really hope you will find a new teacher soon.
alright nut, havin' trouble comin' up with quality posts?
here's a lil' trick o' the trade, from me to you:
take a brief "xanga vacation"
because, let's be honest here, sometimes, ya can just feel yrself burning out...the passion starts losing its fire...and suddenly, yer not doin' it for the love of the game, yer just runnin' thru the motions...the love becomes a burden
when this happens, just...stop.
come back in a lil' while, it's all good. retreat into yer "bob's left nut" regeneration cell...rekindle the passion.
in fact, i've just returned from a brief hiatus myself...i told everyone i was dead, and took som time off to pursue other in'trists
but now....
I'M BACK IN BLACK, BABY!!!!1
Crunching ice is very bad for the enamel on teeth. Mrs. BLN is going to need dental work AND glasses if she persists in her two new worrying habits. I highly recommend that you find out what you can do to distract her -- have you tried a squirt gun?
Glad you liked it... well, it works for cats!
Every full moon or so i wander over to the 'popular' side of xanga just to check out what all the 'xanga groupies' are so interested in......what keeps them coming back?
Well, its that time of month again, the moon is full in the sky and here i find myself reading all about someones talking nut.
You have to understand something .......when i take a walk on the wild side
i usually get my fill and move on without leaving a trace.....like a stalker hiding in the bushes with a pair of binoculars....
but alas this time i got trapped in the sticking web of your nut and here i find myself leaving a blurb and so branding myself 'a xanga groupie'......
eeek
I will say this only once
but i will definitely read you again sometime
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