Here's a question for you. When your spouse starts crunching, what does it mean and what should you do?
Over the last few days, I've noticed definite crunching noises emanating from mrs bln. The sort of noises you'd make if you were eating really crunchy cookies. However in this case, there are no cookies (or any other foodstuffs as far as I can see)...
The first time I became aware of it, I looked over at her and it immediately stopped. When I turned away, it started up. I looked over again, and again, it suddenly stopped. Figuring it must be one of those mysterious things that women do that are best not to enquire further about, I let it go but later I thought deeply about all the women I've known in my life and I can report with confidence that not a single one of them ever crunched. Not in front of me, anyway.
Of course, mrs bln is a past master at mucking around with my mind. She usually only ever comes at me out of leftfield, so I thought to myself, 'ha! you're not going to get me on this one!' To give you an example, while out driving to the supermarket yesterday afternoon, she looked over at me, smiled and then whacked me hard on the back of my head. This was to show me that she was having a good time and feeling romantic and I only tell you this to illustrate my point...
Anyway, so as I say, mrs bln has been crunching a lot lately but I'm not going to ask about it. Oh no, not this nut. I know exactly where that'd get me...
If, however, you've done any crunching of your own or have met a cruncher yourself and know what it's all about, feel free to let me know...
Comments (44)
Dear me...where do I begin?
Okay, firstly...can't help you with the crunching, unless she's gone and wrapped herself in the plastic wrap that has become so popular as a weight loss aid...not that that is a department in which the missus needs any attention.
Secondly, you know I'd join you on that "whirlwind" trip in a heartbeat.
Thirdly, I was more than a little disturbed by your mention of Ferry's Orisinal since I've had it bookmarked for...um...ever. And it adds an entirely new dimension to what I know of you.
Fourthly, I want you to teach me more about #3.
Oh and finally, I'm sorry you had to get popped in the back of the head, but I'm glad she's showing some affection...makes a knight feel better!
there are some sick things out there on ebay and some weirdos.... except that tooth paste tube, which was pretty tempting *damn that person that outbid me!
I have not much an idea why mrs bln has been crunching, so I can't help you with that.
As for the weird bids, interesting enough, but at the same time gross. Man are there so much weirdos in this world selling really weird stuff. Human milk for one... What is the world coming to?!?!
Wow! I was laughing at your whole crunching thing; have to ask my hubby about that one.
The strangest people don't come out at night; they sell crap on e-bay. Can't believe the toothpaste guy actually had a buyer. Weird. CK
Another brilliant day in Bob's head.
Crunching. Well, my lord. In a fashion typical of the a female of my age (or maybe just of me; why blame it on the age??), I am immediately consumed by concern. Do I crunch? I do do a lot of antisocial irritating things I certainly AM aware of (thinking to myself, "Hey, wtf, it's my house and he's just as bad"), but do I do some stuff unaware? Does he notice and not tell me (is that possible)?
So thanks for this sudden onslaught of Monday morning angst..........
P.S. I'm sure I would be cheered by your ebay links, but unfortunately there's a stack of work sitting here glaring at me.......
P.P.S. I had to let My_ki know about your hilarious comment on the shoes-and-jewelry, to which she gave an equally hilarious reposte in my guestbook, just in case she didn't repeat it over here (and I'm sure even if she didn't that she wouldn't mind you knowing
).
"she looked over at me, smiled and then whacked me hard on the back of my head. This was to show me that she was having a good time and feeling romantic" (Does that mean she flambee'd the ol' banana apres le supermarket?)
I'll definitely have to ask MKD if he hears crunching sounds coming from my direction... My dentist did say I show signs of grinding my teeth, but I don't think teeth-gnashing and crunching have the same sort sound...
This was the perfect way to waste my Monday morning!
Thanks!
Sounds like Mrs. BLN grinds her teeth. She ought to get it checked out.
Thanks for a wonderful way to spend my afternoon-getting paid to pretend to work!
I have never crunched and don't know anyone else who does! Sorry~
So if you do win this sweepstakes...would you prefer to take a non-cuncher??
~Maria
that boob thing is intriguing. she will probably get those boobs. by hook or by crook.
the only time i crunch is when i haven't changed those new undergarments in awhile. if you take me on that trip with you, i promise not to bring any at all.
See all my dogs is gettin cheese
Rollin D's
They got them thangs for seventeen
Straight from overseas
They show me shit I neva seen
Fullfill all my dreams
I put it down
They gimme cream
Na I'm on they team
Know what I mean
I'm representin
Realizin somthin missin
I'm on a mission
Want a million under these conditions
Which is
Marble tubs and gold dishes
The baddest bitches
AK's fo my protection
Gotta gaurd my riches
I want the latest trends
The newest Benz
The rudest friends
To fly a plane wont be no thang then
Mosquino fo all my hoes
From draws to robes
Valet parked around like Benz I steal the whole show
They jockin Trick again
I wantsta fuck they friend
Suck that pussy then, muthafucka beat that pussy in
She suckin fuckin me
Wanna fuck my whole crew
I'm thinkin like yo though
What's tha bitch supposed to do
Silly bitch is fuckin me
Suckin fuck in you
Suck and fucked my whole crew
So whatsa a nigga 'posed to do
-the greatest living poet, Trick Daddy
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=2909930248&category=1468
Try that one... Almost as bad, if not as bad as the toothpaste...
Happy Writing...
Umm if she has balls she really doesn't need boobs, enough she males in the world.
My husband grinds his teeth in his sleep is that the same thing? I'm sure I bring it on My God anyone would grind their teeth if they had to live with me!
is ur wifey a tmj sufferer too!?
my jaw crunches a lot too!
geez, those eggs are maddening! as for the crunching *shrugs* i'll keep an ear out, and survey others to see if they have come in contact with this phenomenon
why, bob, whyyyy? as if i'm not addicted to enough online games already, you have to show me some more! and cute ones! AAAHH!!
I'm avoiding those games like a mutha, man! You're the devil's emissary for trying to send me there. Now. I do not crunch while at the gym, I promise. Crunch would imply a certain dryness, and sugar it is not dry that I am at the gym...
She hit you because she was feeling romantic... huh?
Most entertaining blog I've read tonight, although TirelessTraveller came pretty close!
Thankx
*scrunches forehead*
She crunches?
*Goes off pondering the crunching*
is she grinding her teeth? Hmmm
i thought she was grinding her teeth, too. or maybe she is eating fried corn or chips when you're not looking?
btw, this is actually my second time on this blog. the first time i got lost following all the links i forgot to say "thank you".
could be phantom grape nuts. i've heard people can actually become posessed by the spirit of the late yule gibbons, and that they eminate crunching sounds and pour milk on things out of context.
i got excited when i saw that sweepstakes flier, then i realized they were only giving away hotel rooms. i was hoping for actual redemption.
I've seen an item 2) at a gift shop where I worked in Sydney. And some customers out of curiosity asked what it was to the shop lady. I remember everytime she was asked, she explained with some blushes...
As for crunching, it might be a kind of tic? She makes that noise with her teeth... umm...I'm not sure,though.
I was going to give her boobs until I realized that her boobs didn't even look that nice in the after photo. How much did you donate, Bobby-poo?
Wow. Fun, fun games. Thanks, BLN!
I pretty much had a nice long chuckle going on the whole way through that one.
~Jason
Hubby grinds his teeth in his sleep, it sounds like he is chewing on gravel. Makes me crazy! Wish I could donate some of what I have to that poor little underendowed girl.
I'm going to start a site to get the fat sucked out of my ass. I think it will go over well
as far as the crunching... my knee crunches. but that's an old sports injury.
Crunches eh? I have spent the last 30 minutes trying to figure out what the heck could be crunching.. perhaps there is a stash of M&Ms? And she is hiding them from you? That's what I would do.. ;o)
hmmmmm *follows Polaris Kitten to ponder the crunching*
sorry i don cruch or know anyone that does.
Just crusing by! You have a neat site! Interesting reads! love your name
I'm going to have to agree with the tooth grinding diagnosis. It's sounds like it's bad though, if you can hear it across the room. Maybe you can get her one of those uber attractive mouth guards. Maybe it'll remind you of being in high school. Sexy!
Gnat
I'm going to have to agree with the tooth grinding diagnosis. It's sounds like it's bad though, if you can hear it across the room. Maybe you can get her one of those uber attractive mouth guards. Maybe it'll remind you of being in high school. Sexy!
Gnat
BOB!!!!!!
crunching?? i like the egg game, fun!!
Maybe she has a secret storage place inside her mouth that she hides food in. Whenever she feels hungry, she just reaches in the hidden container with her tongue and pulls out some chips or something. Also, you have to remember that she's a woman; and women are always conspiring against men and trying to mess with their minds. I know this because I'm half-woman; I just need another X chromosome. Yea, so if I were you I would search her mouth with a flashlight when she goes asleep tonight. I think you will discover that my predictions are correct, not that it would suprise me! HAHa
Best laughs of the day! Thanks.
maybe she hides food in her cheeks like a chipmunk???? or maybe she was chewing on ice...and we all know what that means.....better get crackin' BLN!!!
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