January 23, 2003

• You know of course that I live in Japan and anyone who's been reading this page for a while will know that I love my life here. Like any country, it has its good points and bad points but overall, living here has proved to be a wonderful experience. Almost without exception, the Japanese people I've known have been kind and generous to a fault and I love them dearly.
  
  But (and isn't there always a but?) sometimes I find that cultural issues do arise and this is what I want to talk about today.
  
  Specifically, I'd like to address a couple of rather silly notions that most Japanese seem to possess.
  
  Limbering up to take the field as the first contender is the commonly held belief that breakfast in bed is not only strange but also suspiciously decadent. I have never, in ten years, met a Japanese who will admit to ever having enjoyed this most simple of pleasures. Mention of b in b will elicit confused consternation and invariably the comment "But...that's dirty! You'll get crumbs and things in your bed..."
  Well, I'm here to riposte, to any Nihonjin reading (hi again, Mariko!), "...uh huh...and..?"
  Breakfast in bed is (in my ever so 'umble opinion) one of life's greatest simple pleasures. Never to be taken any way other than lightly, it is a delicious frisson of laziness that we should all enjoy from time to time. I mean, come on, if you have no special plans for a Sunday morning (or afternoon for that matter), what better way to spend it than curled up in bed with some Sunday newspapers and a tray of tea, toast and good old fashioned marmalade? I can think of few things more divinely self indulgent and we could all do with a little self indulgence from time to time...
  
  Needless to say, such pampering of one's inner lethargy is anathema to mrs bln and even the merest suggestion that I might be considering such a course of action will result in another of her patented 'Why on earth would you want to do that?' looks....
  
  For years I've been covertly working to inspire my friends, students and acquaintances with a desire to try it but sadly, I fear, to no avail. Call me a subversive if you will, but I want to say loud and clear, right now and to anyone who'll listen, I proudly hold myself up as confirmed lollygagger and slugabed and I'll never give up the fight...
  
  The other thing I want to mention and that gets Japanese sensibilities all aflutter is the concept of lunchtime drinking. Now, as any self respecting Englishman will tell you, what is lunchtime for if it isn't for drinking? I ask you? As the minute hand chunders its weary way around the clockface to meet its hourly brother at twelve, all across the length and breadth of Britain, workers in offices, factories and all those other places where workers are to be found are hauling on their jackets and heading to the pub for a spot of much needed refreshment. A working life has only so many pleasures to offer and it's made a whole lot tougher without the promise, nay, the privilege of a bit of lunchtime boozing...
  
  Yes, I grant you, productivity may suffer the teensy weensiest of declines in the latter part of the day but surely, productivity's not the point is it? Or, put another way, that hour down the boozer of a lunchtime is an opportunity to lessen the disappointments of the morning (and we all know how invariably disappointing mornings can be...) as well as a chance to get slightly sozzled on company time! Traditions are there to be honoured, I say, and if everyone here chooses to turn up their noses at such a fine tradition as that, well...they just don't know what they're missing is all...
  
  On the other hand, there are some rather good Japanese traditions to compensate for their disappointing inability to spend a few hours having breakfast in bed before popping into the pub for lunch on their way to work. One really great Japanese tradition is bureiko. What happens is this. The boss will suggest to his workers that they should all go for a drink after work (see, there's their mistake; they should be going for a drink during work...)...anyway, he makes the suggestion and all in favour duly decamp to the nearest hostelry for afterhours inebriation. At this point the boss will say, "OK everyone, tonight is bureiko! What this means is that his subordinates are allowed to say anything they like about him or the company and it's all 'off the record'! If someone wants to say that, in their opinion, the boss is a slimy piece of dog doo, there's absolutely nothing he can (in theory) do about it because, as we all know, tonight was bureiko! The idea, of course, is to encourage workers to come forth with ideas that they might normally be too shy to announce, but in the free for all, anything goes world of bureiko, they're actively encouraged to spout out without fear of later recrimination....
  I know, it sounds almost too good to be true, but there we are.
  As nothing more than a rather diffident observer, it's not really my place to suggest so, but what a jolly old world it would be if we got to have a bit of bureiko in the White House....

  • 1:43 am
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