July 17, 2002
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Shortly after arriving in Japan in '92, I found myself one lunchtime in a Tokyo McDonalds. If you've never been to a McDonalds in Japan, don't worry; you'd feel quite at home. Except they have have things on the menu like Teriyaki McBurger and Chicken Tatsuta. But that's not what I want to tell you about.
So as I say, I'm waiting in line to get my junk food and I spy a trio of young hotties sitting just a short hop away. I'm looking at them and they're looking at me and I'm smiling at them and they're smiling back at me. I mean, they're REALLY smiling back at me.
Now even in the short amount of time I'd been in Japan at that point, I'd become used to girls staring at me but there was something special about the looks I was getting from this bevy of beauties.
Anyway, I collected my tray of whateveritwas and mosied myself over in their direction, figuring that if the smiles I'd been getting were any indicator, with any luck....well, you know the way guys minds work...
Providence found me a table right next to them. I sat down, turned to them and smiled again. My best full watt donchawannagettoknowme beam.
Result : paroxysms of laughter. I mean it; these girls were actully spitting bits of food out they were laughing so hard.
Then they looked at me and I caught the direction of their gaze....
And in that moment, before I'd even followed that gaze to look down at myself, realisation hit me; cold, clammy and unequivocal.
And then I looked down.
And saw.
A gaping hole.
I would like to be able to say that I just nonchalantly zipped myself up, grinned at them again and got on with my food but that wasn't exactly the way things went.
Well, I did the business of course, but with nothing even close to nonchalance, managed a sort of sickly grin and then busied myself in a close inspection of my Teriyaki McBurger wrapping....
Comments (3)
Shortpants is awesome isn't he Bob? hehehehe
I have to say I am saviour to the unzipped. I always lean really close and whisper to them so that they don't have to be too embarrassed. I have had plenty of embarrassment in my life, in other forms, to know that it isn't always funny.
However - your story is hilarious! heh heh
Oh geez, I know that sickening realization of discovering the "gaping hole". I used to be a heavy drinker and I would often wake up in my clothes the morning after a big night, sometimes in my bed... sometimes in more interesting places. It never failed that my zipper would be down and I would always wonder at what point did it get that way and how many people got a gander.
Glad you enjoyed my post, don't be a stranger. Well, just don't be stranger than me.
Well, I have been caught unzipped a few times but only usually around people I am close to and don't care whether they laugh at me or not.
I do though have a similar type of McDonalds story....Just the other day, we are on our way to a Dodger game. Many beers on the way I am about to burst out of my jeans. My friend Cerveza tells me that undoing my top button might relieve the pressure. When we finally stop to allow some relief to my bladder I jump out of the car, burst through the doors of the McDonalds at which we stopped, and realized my top button was still undone.
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