July 6, 2002

• If you've read any of my previous entries, you will probably have realised that I am a teacher.
  
  And that a lot of the people I know have Japanese names.
  
  
  Well..... I'm an English teacher in Japan.
  
  Have been for 10 years now.
  
  For the last 6 years, I've had my own school. It's small and the building it's in is a little old but it has still proved to be modestly successful. I employ 2 part time teachers and enjoy my work, although the hours I work prevent me spending as much time as I'd like with my two daughters.
  
  But then again, those long hours do mean that I get to spend less time with my wife. So things aren't ALL that bad...
  
  
  Another benefit of my job is that I am surrounded by women most of the time.
  
  Far and away, women make up the majority of my students. Of course, I teach children as well, but my focus is on the sixty or so women who come to see me each week. Aged between 16 and 60, they come to the school for a variety of reasons. Some come to practise for their holidays abroad, others simply as a hobby, squeezed in between roles as busy housewives, mothers and dutiful neighbours. A few come to prepare for exams, but perhaps surprisingly, not many. And then there are others who come simply to see me.
  
  
  yeah.
  
  
  Naturally, such situations soon evolve into Moral Dilemmas.
  
  However, Moral Dilemmas deserve an entry all of their own; I'll go into greater details at some later date. As soon as I find myself in such frame of mind you'll be the first to know. I Promise.
  
  
  So, where were we?
  
  
  Women.
  
  
  ah yes....
  
  
  My wife is a woman.
  
  
  But she isn't MY woman and I'm not her MAN, in the Tammy Wynette sense. I mean, she doesn't think of herself in that way. I am her husband. A different thing entirely. For her, our relationship is that of Husband and Wife; the titles are more important than the people they represent. She began our marriage with a volte face of stunning speed.
  I didn't expect her to quite so suddenly turn into my judge, jury and executioner. She had decided there were faults with her husband and she was going to sort them out. She 'd known about them before we got married of course, but now that I was her husband, she could do something.
  
  
  She genuinely believed (and still does...) that her role as a wife required this of her. Everything in her garden must be perfect and perfectly to her liking. Right now or there's going to be a scene.
  
  And although as you know , I am Buddha now, I do still have trouble getting her to understand the concept that if you want your husband to do things, ordering him about is not the most effective way of going about it.
  
  But sadly, if I try to talk to her about it she dismisses my feelings.
  
  Tonight we had a fairly typical conversation in my house.
  
  She: Turn down the volume!
  
  Me : OK, but why do you have to use THAT tone of voice?
  
  She : What tone of voice? This is a perfectly normal tone of voice between husband and wife. Don't be so argumentative. You'll give me a neurosis.
  
  Me: Knowing exactly where any reply other than agreement with her will lead us, say nothing.
  
  End of conversation.
  
  
  Is it like this in YOUR homes too?
  
  
  Anyway, as I said earlier, one of the benefits of my job is that the hours give me the chance to spend a lot of time without the pleasure of her company.
  
  And another is that I get to spend a lot of those hours with lots of lovely ladies.
  
  
  Which is where I started.
  
   
  
  
   
  
  
  
  
  

  • 12:48 pm
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